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08-07-2012, 09:32 PM #1
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
Girl Friend Experience (GFE) Definition
The (My) Red Book GFE definition (as accessed on July 17, 2012) is: BBBJ, CFS, DFK, DATY, and MSOG. This is the generally accepted minimum consensus definition of a girl friend experience (GFE).
The following is intended to define a girl friend experience (GFE) in greater detail:
As stated above, the generally accepted minimum consensus definition of a girl friend experience (GFE) is:
--DFK which means deep French kissing. Sometimes called tongue kissing.
--BBBJ (fellatio) which means a bare back blow job and signifies the woman provides oral sex without a condom.
--DATY (cunnilingus) which means "dining at the 'Y'” and signifies the man can “go down” on the woman by giving her oral sex.
--CFS (covered full service) meaning using a condom the woman will engage in vaginal intercourse to ejaculation in a variety of positions including, but not limited to, missionary, doggie, and cowgirl. (This part of the GFE definition is often not explicitly stated as it usually viewed as being part of MSOG.)
Note: I suggest the client bring condoms with him. This helps prevent "hiccups" during the date as well as insures the man has the type of condom he prefers and/or fits him.
--MSOG (multiple shots on goal)/No Rush which means the woman stays with the client for the full time booked--be that a one hour date or 8 hours for over night session--rather than leaving as soon as the client "cums" during which time the client may "cum" as many times as he desires and/or is able.
While not usually explicitly listed in the GFE “checklist” the following is an unwritten part of the GFE definition.
Foreplay. Although not usually explicitly enumerated in the minimum consensus GFE definition foreplay is generally consider to be part of a GFE. It means one can do things that are commonly done when a man makes love with his girlfriend such as touching, caressing, cuddling, licking/sucking a woman’s breasts, etc. (The activities that constitute foreplay are not normally explicitly enumerated in the GFE “checklist” because they are things that generally accompany deep French kissing—which is enumerated in the GFE definition—and/or are things commonly understood to be part of a girl friend experience.)
Practices thought by many to be part of a GFE that are not enumerated in the minimum consensus GFE definition are:
A massage. Many people believe that receiving a massage, when requested, is part of a GFE.
Public Dating. This is when a woman who is being compensated for her time goes drinking, dancing, dining, to the movies, a concert, convention, etc. with her client. This practice is (probably) the origin of the term escort and something many consider to be part of a GFE.
Joint Bathing. Many clients believe that taking a shower together, taking a Jacuzzi bath together, etc. are part of a GFE.
Like all things that are not part of the minimum consensus GFE definition (given above) those wanting a massage, public dating, etc. should discuss this when booking the date as well as with the provider before starting the date.
Things escorts and agencies need to avoided when providing a GFE include, but are not limited to, the following:
--Including travel time and/or clean-up time as part of the session time.
--Up-selling by the escort or her agency.
--Using pictures that are misleading. (It is not so much when the picture was taken as does it fairly depict the escort.)
--Distractions, such as cell phone usage, during the session.
--Asking for tips. (This includes taxi fare, credit for her cell phone, etc.)
--Asking the client to buy her food, beverages, etc. and/or to take her drinking, dancing, etc. (Unless she is willing to do such things "off the clock," which probably is in violation her agency's policies.)
--Asking for payment in advance.
--Asking a higher price than is posted on the website and/or was agreed to when the date was booked.
--Bait-and-Switch which is sending a different girl than the one requested without first getting the client's permission.
Up-selling does not occur when the client asks for a non-GFE service and the provider agrees to provide the service for an additional fee.
Up-selling occurs when the provider initiates a conversation that has the goal of getting the client to purchase additional service(s) during the date.
An escort should be allowed to use her cell phone to notify her agency when she arrives. She should also be able to use it to notify her agency when the date has ended, to arrange transportation, etc.. She should not use her cell phone to make or receive calls during the session, and ideally she will turn off her cell phone during the session. (I see nothing wrong with asking a provider to turn off her cell phone during a session, especially if it rings during the session.)
A GFE versus a PSE:
A girl friend experience (GFE) is different from a porn star experience (PSE). Sometimes a provider will provide non-GFE services, sometimes she won’t, and sometimes she will provide non-GFE services for an additional fee. (Avoiding confusion about what is and is not included in a GFE session is a significant reason that a standardize GFE definition is needed.) Anything that is not part of minimum consensus GFE definition—including, but not limited to, the list that follows—should be discussed when booking a date; it is also prudent to discuss the matter with the escort before the date commences.
The following is a partial list of things that are not part of a GFE:
--Anal sex, also called Greek.
--BBFS (bare back full service) meaning the woman will engage in sexual intercourse without a condom.
--Ball licking and “tea bagging” which occurs when a woman licks, sucks, etc. a man’s scrotum. Strictly speaking it is not part of a BBBJ, although many/most GFE providers will do it while providing a BBBJ.
--Bondage meaning the man can tie up a woman, put her in handcuffs, etc. while having sex with her.
--CIM (come in mouth) meaning the man can ejaculate in the woman’s mouth.
--COB (come on body) meaning the man can ejaculate on the woman’s body.
--COF (come on face) meaning the man can ejaculate on the woman’s face.
--Fisting which means a man inserts his hand in a woman’s vagina.
--FIV (finger in vagina) which means a man can digitally penetrate a woman’s vagina.
--Pictures. Taking pictures of a woman (dressed, partially undressed, or fully disrobed) is not part of a GFE.
--Prostate massage meaning a woman inserts her finger in a man’s rectum to stimulate his prostate, often to ejaculation. (This practice is known by many terms such as a erotic massage).
--Rimming which means a woman licks a man’s ass hole and/or inserts her tongue into his rectum.
--Russian which means a man rubs his penis between a woman’s breasts until he ejaculate. Strictly speaking this is not part of a GFE, although it is something many escorts will allow during a GFE session.
--S&M (sadism and masochism) which is the inflecting and/or receiving of pain as part of having sex with another person. (S&M is a practice unto itself. It is not usually considered to be part of PSE, much less a GFE.)
--Stripping which means provider undresses, usually while dancing to music, in a manner intended to sexually stimulate a man.
A client wanting a service that is not part of the minimum consensus GFE services should discuss his desire when booking the date. (He should specifically ascertain if there is an additional fee for the service(s) he desires that are not part of GFE session.) It is also prudent to have the same discussion with the escort (including the additional fees, if any) before starting the session.
GFE is an objective, not subjective, term.
It should be noted that the term GFE is an objective, not subjective, term. A man may have a GFE session in which he and the provider don’t “click.”
It should also be noted that a client does not have to engage in all the activities on the GFE “checklist” to have a girl friend experience. (For example, a man may not engage in DATY and still have a GFE.) Rather a girl friend experience means all the activates on the GFE “checklist” will be provided when requested.
Why is a standardized GFE definition needed?
Think of what would happen if the definition of “off the lot” sometimes included sales tax and sometimes did not. Obviously, the definition “off the lot” definition would be meaningless; the same applies to the GFE definition. A case in point occurred when Solo Divas advertised GFE sessions but only provided a cbj instead of a bbbj. (Due to complaints by the mongering community that they were engaged in deceptive advertising they changed their ads to say they provided a SGFE which they said meant a safe girl friend experience). Hence the need for a standardized GFE definition.
For the record: the minimum consensus GFE definition is not of my making. Although I have been very energetic in seeing that when used the term GFE is (1) understood and (2) is used in conformity with the minimum consensus GFE definition given above.
The Merriam-Webster On-line dictionary definition of consensus is:
1a : general agreement
1b : the judgment arrived at by most of those concerned
That is the meaning I use in stating what the minimum consensus GFE definition is. There are, of course, those who out of ignorance, orneriness, etc. do not accept the GFE definition given above. Be that as if may, the GFE definition given above is the one “arrived at by most of those concerned.” You’ll find it used on many websites, such as My Red Book.
What to do if there is a problem with a provider during a session.
As stated above, it is prudent to discuss any services (and fees) that is not part of a GFE before starting the session.
If there is a problem—the provider is having her period, the provider is making or receiving phone calls during the session, the provider doesn’t want to perform a GFE service, etc.—stop the date. Call the agency and try to resolve the problem on the spot. Don’t pay the provider—or don’t pay the provider in full—if there is a serious problem. Send the provider home if you are unable to contact the agency. (This, of course, shows why a client should not pay the provider until the date has--satisfactorily--ended.)
If you pay the provider and/or wait until after the session is over there is much less an agency can do to solve a problem than they can do if contacted while the date is in progress. Agencies may provide a future date without a commission, but it is unrealistic to expect an agency to refund money you paid the provider without first contacting the agency. By not contacting the agency about the problem you’ve taken away the agency’s ability to do something like send the provider home without pay and send you another provider. (Sadly, it should also be noted that occasionally agencies receive requests for compensation after the date has ended by clients trying to “pull a fast one.” This is another reason the agency should be contacted immediately should there be a problem, instead of after the date is over.)
Finally, it should be noted that sometimes it is a client’s fault that he does not receive a GFE. For example, there have been occasions when clients did not receive a GFE because of poor hygiene. So take a shower, use a deodorant, brush your teeth, etc. before the provider arrives. And don’t be high, drunk, obnoxious, etc. If the problem is with the client, not the provider, the client should not expect compensation for not receiving a GFE. Nor should a client be upset if the provider the date for things client's fault and/or if the escort ends the date (early) because the client becomes abusive, threatening, obnoxious, etc. during the date.
Last edited by burt; 08-07-2012 at 10:10 PM.